Surviving the Holidays

Surviving the Holidays

Holidays are a time of family, friends, excitement, fun, and passing on traditions to our children. The sparkling lights, decorations, and steady stream of special events tells us this is the most wonderful time of the year, and it can be, but it can also be stressful!  It is easy for children and adults alike to become overstimulated and overwhelmed from time to time during the busy holiday season.  The good news is that with a bit of advanced planning and preparation, we can all enjoy the holidays, rather than just trying to survive them.  

Some common holiday challenges can be:

1.      Children misbehaving

2.     Overstimulation

3.     Challenges within Family

4.     Expectations

5.     Routine Disruption

6.     Negative Past Experiences

Try to plan your days during the holidays, but allow extra time for flexibility.  Children still need some structure and routine to feel safe and secure in every-day life, and keeping things consistent over the holidays allows children to learn what to expect.  Try to involve the children in the planning process and if your family likes visuals, why not make the holiday schedule into craft time?  Don’t forget when creating your family plan or schedule to add in downtime and breaks for the children, but also you, the parent!

Remember while you are planning that many people, especially children, struggle with changes to routines.  Keep holiday routines as simple as possible and try to practice the transitions as a family in advance.  Stay close and available to your child during transitions and talk about upcoming transitions in advance so they aren’t a big surprise to your child.

The entire family can benefit from sensory breaks so try to plan time in your routine for breaks. Try to provide a quiet space with low lighting for breaks and encourage children to take heavy work breaks (jumping jacks, push-ups, running in place)when needed.  Be proactive and not reactive during the holidays and continue to check in on your children.  Try to have appropriate expectations for your children and don’t wait for overstimulation, plan in those sensory breaks and down-time.  Have conversations with your children in the time leading up to the holidays around your plans and expectations.  Parents can even create signals with children for when they need a break.

As a parent, you will also need to keep in mind that you have your own past experiences (trauma) and it is helpful to take some time to reflect on how it might impact your parenting.  Remember to be kind to yourself and others and role-model this with your children. For some, grief and sadness are a part of the holiday season.  You may need to adjust your expectations of what the holidays might look like if needed. If you or your children are struggling, you may want to consult with a mental health professional during the holidays. Please feel free to reach out to any of the following supports:

·        Kids Help Phone:  1-800-668-6868/TEXT: 686868

·        Mental Health Helpline:  877-303-2642

·        Medicine Hat Family Service:  403-504-8026

·        Rapid Access Counselling:  1-877-244-2360

·        AHS Addiction and Mental Health:  403-529-3500

When things are overwhelming and exciting during the holidays, children can behave in socially inappropriate ways.  Try meeting as a family and discuss what will be expected in the different social settings you might find yourself in this holiday season.  Try practicing these social skills at home with your children so they can get comfortable with them.  Keep communication lines open and encourage your children to share their thoughts and feelings with you throughout the holidays.  Make sure to actively listen to your children.  Kids like to speak in code, but if you are giving your full attention, you are making eye contact, you are down at your child’s level, you are acknowledging what they are saying and you are reflecting their opinions and feelings, you will be better able to determine how your child is really feeling.

Remember that family relationships can be hard.  Be proactive and discuss expectations for your children with family members in advance. Direct relatives to come to you if they have a problem and keep in mind, if things get heated or begin to escalate, it’s okay for the adults to take breaks from one another too!

With a little advance planning and self-reflection, we can all enjoy the holidays.  Here are some bonus tips to help us all manage the busy holiday season:

·        Take care of yourself

·        Ensure everyone gets enough sleep

·        Eat healthy meals and snacks, make sure some healthy whole foods are available as well as those seasonal treats!

·        Remember that everyone processes information differently

·        You may need to let certain traditions go, or create your own new traditions with your children

·        It is ok for a child to sit out if they need a break

·        Have realistic expectations for yourself.  Don’t expect perfection!

·        Choose your battles

To register for Parent Education’s Surviving the Holidays presentation on December 3, please visit:  https://www.bridgesfamilyprograms.com/parent-educationor call 403-526-7473. Please call the Hub at 403-526-7473 for further support and information.

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